‘IT’ is BACK!

Terrible mood swings ✓

Feeling low to the point of depression ✓
Heightened emotional sensitivity ✓
Craving for junk food ✓
Bloating ✓

It’s THAT time of the month again! No, I’m not talking about periods but PMS and there IS a difference. It’s weird but I have seen even girls getting mixed up. PMS, periods and anything related is so closeted. Most girls, I included, shy away from talking about it. I do not hesitate as such but I always wonder if the other person, obviously a guy, would be okay with even the mention of it. A talk is mostly out of question.

Menstruation for women is as natural as jerking off is for men. In fact even more! A man may TRY and abstain from shagging (hell difficult but not impossible) but as much as we girls would like to do away with periods, we cannot. Not until menopause! So why is all talk about it so hush!

IF you are already feeling disgusted or uncomfortable, you may stop reading. DO NOT read it entirely and then come up with bullshit that such stuff should not be brought up in a public forum. Despite this disclaimer, if you are still reading, it is well a choice you made.

Every time of the month when I feel this terrible, I have a strong urge to vent out and write, to channel all the negativity to something constructive. But I never managed to do it, until today. Not so much because I was worried about the varied reactions to this post but for the reason that the mood swings are so terrible that to discipline the self and try to maintain a coherent line of thought is not easy. Hope I do not abandon it midway.

Ok so like I was saying there is a difference between PMS and periods. PMS or Premenstrual Syndrome is a group of symptoms that start one to two weeks before periods. Periods is mostly physical but PMS has more of an emotional effect. While there are more than 200 symptoms associated with PMS, the most prominent ones are irritability, tension, and dysphoria (unhappiness). 

I have been experiencing heightened mix of all three. It really amazes me what a hormone change can do. I am generally not fussy about food. I eat at home mostly and like to eat light. But in this phase I crave for junk food. I hate all that I like usually. Sometimes I don’t feel like eating at all. Other times I want something in particular. And when it’s prepared I can’t stand the sight of it.

I am unable to decide which movie I want to watch. I decide on a genre, find something and start watching. Within five minutes I feel today’s not the day for this one. I want something else. I switch genres but nothing helps. Most times I end up not watching anything. The only genre that has succeeded to hold my attention is ‘zombie movies’. And what blast I had watching them!

I often refer to myself an ‘unofficial counselor’ as I guide and counsel people, mostly friends. A lot of them confide in me and discuss all kinds of problems. I am extremely patient and listen to all that they have to say without being judgemental. I have serious potential to make a career out of it ;) 

However while experiencing PMS, I feel so miserable and depressed like I would need a shrink myself. My thoughts reach an all time low. I come close to feeling depressed and then wonder if that’s how some people I know feel when they say they are sad, fed up with life, feel trapped etc. This thought scares me. I have such a big problem dealing with this phase for even two days, I wonder how do such people deal with it all the time! All advice falls on deaf ears. No wonder no talking or guiding helps them. It’s themselves they have to fight first. I then feel thankful that it’s just a phase, and short one that too, which will indeed pass!

But this short phase is enough to drain me out. I get irritated at the drop of a hat. I am antisocial and detest company barring that of few people but this time I can hardly bear anyone. I once described this feeling to a friend – it feels as if I have a sword and am ready to kill people.

It’s worse because I seldom discuss the countless thoughts doing the rounds in my mind. I, at the max, mention to a friend that I am feeling dejected but nothing more than that. But then I don’t know if talking about it would make a difference. Its hormones that wreak havoc and I doubt there’s much that can be done about it. Moreover, I am back to my normal self after a few days anyway!

And I have lost the train of thought. Plus I am now in the mood of wreaking havoc again. I don’t know if the rambling makes sense but I’d rather post whatever it is before it finds its way to the trash!