AFTC

I was introduced to The Actor Factor Theatre Company (AFTC) by my colleague Mridul in March 2008. His brother Rahul was a part of group. AFTC plays were scheduled for June-August and since I had worked for NSD Mridul asked me to help them with some media contacts. I pitched in to help but soon found myself to be a part of AFTC. We were four of us handling their PR and communications – Mridul, his fiancée (Vrinda), Prasoon (another colleague and Mridul’s pal) and myself. Both Mridul and Vrin had a reason for the association but I was doing it by choice and had nothing in it for myself. I was really impressed with their first production ‘Aakaar’. It only gave me further impetus to put in my sincere effort and contribute in whatever little manner that I could. Our efforts helped in creating the initial buzz and spreading awareness about the group and their plays.

At that time I had a very hectic schedule – office Mon-Fri, MBA classes on weekends, the mock test on Sunday, Soka Gakkai amongst others. Plays were lined up for alternate weekends and that meant a lot of involvement. But I liked it and had no reason to complain. Plus we were doing a good job :)

There was a party to celebrate the success of ‘Aakaar’. I was a little apprehensive initially as I did not know a lot of people but Vrin assured that it would be enjoyable. And seriously what good fun it was! It was easy to gel with everyone. I personally admired Sunit Bhaiya (the President of AFTC) but before that I only knew the serious side of him who was constantly on his toes to get things going. It was good to see him in a light mood, just having fun. All the others parties that I have attended have been absolute fun.

One of my best memories was the press conference (PC) organized by all amateurs. One evening I got a call from Sunit Bhaiya asking if I could see them in Saaket in sometime. It was already past eight but he said it was kind of urgent. I agreed and met them @ Barista in Saaket. Bhaiya told me about their upcoming theatre workshop. Bhaiya had big plans for AFTC and was planning to start a theatre academy. This workshop was the first step towards it. If successful, this was to be followed by a lot of other stuff, which Bhaiya had in mind. But it solely depended on the success of this workshop.

The problem was that the workshop was to start in a week’s time but they only had three registrations so far. We desperately needed people but had no funds for advertisement. A lot had anyway been invested in the preparations and the number for break even was around 20. Plus they had faculty from NSD and other biggies from theatre. The only way out was to create a buzz through news article which could only be done through a PC. Bhaiya said he would get Manoj Bajpai to be there at the conference and talk about the workshop. But we had to ensure we could do it. Even the conference would require funds so they expected results.

Now we had been a part of PCs in office, and had some idea. But organizing a PC from the scratch required strategy and planning. Plus the biggest worry was that Manoj Bajpai’s presence would help us to get the media there but there were high chances of the focus remaining only on Mr. Bajpai and not AFTC and the workshop. This could seriously backfire. At this point we needed good articles talking about the workshop but this was a difficult task knowing the media. Bhaiya said it was our call totally. After a good discussion, we decided to go ahead with it.

We were faced with numerous problems initially. Just around that time I had two other events in office and so it was a tight schedule. Besides, my events were also art based and in some cases there was a fight for space in newspapers. Now both were equally important for me – AFTC for obvious reasons and then in office too they were my clients. So I had to be fair. Vrin and Mridul too were quite busy with stuff in the office. Mridul had no time to breathe. So it was all on me, Vrin and Prasoon.

I remember those couple of days were maddening. And things were taking place in true filmy ishtyle. We were handling it along with our office work and so there was a lot of confusion. The first invite was sent out with a wrong date. Luckily someone noticed it and it was rectified. So a second invite followed asking the media to ignore the first. This was enough to create a misunderstanding so we had to follow it with a phone call. I could not be at both the places at the same time, and skipping anyone seemed impossible. Luckily the next day the client called and asked to meet at 4:30. Since the PC was to start at 6, and my client’s office was at a stone’s throw distance, this was manageable. Phew, I was so relieved :)

However the worst was yet to come. Only on the day of the PC did we realize that there had been a miscommunication. The venue was Café Turtle, Saaket and we thought it was GK. And that’s how the invites were sent. It came as a blow. Media people anyway have their tantrums and this could be suicidal as we had already made a change earlier. Moreover, we were in the office and it was not possible to make calls. Then my colleague told me he would not be accompanying me to the meeting and I would have to go by myself. That was another blow but the only thing on my mind that time was calling the media. What a situation to be in! I called some of them and apologized for the confusion. Rest was left to Vrin & Prasoon.

The venue fiasco was finally sorted out but then for some reason the traffic was real bad that day. It took some journalists more than 2 hours to get to the venue while others had been waiting since long. We were trying to deal with the tantrums and chaos, when I got a call from the office. I had informed them that I would not come back from the meeting and they were okay with this. But my colleague said there was some urgent work and I had to get back to work. I told him it was not possible. But there was a release to be issued and there was no one working on that account. So I had no choice. I could see the PC turning into a huge disaster, but was wrong. Amrita, my colleague and a close buddy knew about the conference and so she agreed to pitch in. I did exchange a couple of heated SMS’s with my colleague but Amrita truly was an angel that day.

We had seen the drama unfold layer by layer and by that time were literally praying that it was enough for a day. Our prayers were heard J Finally everyone arrived. The turnout was great; we had all the leading publications and TV channels. We were slightly concerned about the messaging but I guess with Manoj Bajpai you can be assured. He politely refused to talk about himself and movies and requested the media to keep the discussion limited to the workshop. He told them that they could play a vital role in supporting upcoming talent in theatre and urged them to do so.

The PC was a huge success, both in terms of getting the coverage in leading papers and eventually getting people for the workshop. From what I remember we had about 33 people :)

I have been away from all the happenings for a long time now. But I really miss all of them and the good times spent together – working, partying and having fun! AFTC has its new production "Three" lined up for April 4 and so this is a perfect time  to have written this post. (http://www.actorfactor.net/three_pages/about_the_plays.html)

Wish you all the luck guys. Rock On!!

Happy Birthday Nicky :)

It's Nicky's birthday today. I wanted to be with her but never mind. I am glad she had a great day. I am posting something that I found online, which conveys my feelings for her aptly.

This is for you, my best friend,

the one person i can tell my soul to

Who can relate to me like no other

Who I can laugh with to no extents,

Who I can cry too when times are tough,

Who can help me with the problems of my life.

Never have you turned your back on me

Or told me I wasnt good enough

Or let me down

I don't think you know what that means to me

You have went through so much pain and you still have time

For me.

And I love you for listening even when inside YOU are dying

And I look up too you because you are strong,

and caring

and beautiful.

Even though you don't think you are.

And I hope you know that I am always here

To listen to you laugh and cry and help

In all the ways that I can

And I will try to be at least half the friend you are

To me.

I hope you know I would not be the person I am today, with out you.

My Best Friend!

Love you sweetie. HAPPY BIRTHDAY :)

Sibling Bonding

A couple of days ago, my little kid brother Aayush came crying from school after his Maths exam (He is not a kid in the literal sense but he is the youngest, is extremely sweet and looks like a kid too. You would not be able to make out that he is appearing for his ISC exams). He had been practicing a lot for this particular exam and was disappointed at having missed out on some questions. Now that was the first time I had seen him cry, if you discount the childhood tears. In fact, just a few days back I distinctly remember asking him when he had last cried. He is the “apple of everyone’s eye”, liked by elders, peers and children alike. He has an amazing sense of humour and always has a smile on his face. So it was awfully upsetting to see him like that. Obviously seeing one’s sibling cry is not a joyous moment for anyone. But there was something else I realized that day.

I have been away from home for the most part of my life and have spent very little time with parents and brothers. Plus there is an age gap of 6-7 years between me and my brothers. So there is minimal sibling bonding and no deep connected thoughts. But that day I figured out that no matter how distant you appear to be on the surface level, deep within the attachment is always there. The love we have for our family is unconditional which doesn’t require any reassurance. Only, it might be difficult to express it. At least that’s how it is with me.

Some days ago, I was encouraging a friend to spend more time with his siblings. He is pursuing his Masters in US and had come to India on a vacation. We just happened to talk about sibling bonding and he had a similar story to share. He was closer to his brother who was a couple of years younger to him. “It is easy to connect with my brother but I am not very close with my sister. We're kind of distant...like I care for her, but don't spend enough time with her; I can’t express my feelings easily,” he said. Since there were just a couple of days left for him to go back I suggested that he take them both out for dinner and ensure that he pay special attention to his sister. He said I was more matured that I appeared to be.

It was so easy for me to understand his situation. And I did give him some advice as well. But when it comes to me, I am equally bad, worse maybe. We usually take our family for granted. It is so difficult for me to say “I love you” to mom even when I want to at times. Why is so difficult for us to express our love for our near and dear ones? One reason can be that I have mostly been on my own, away from home and family, more in the company of friends. So communicating my thoughts and emotions lucidly is surely an issue sometimes. Obviously it can’t come to me all of a sudden. But I have been trying to bridge the gap. And I am sure this will only get better with time.

Writer's Block

I have not been regular with my writing of late (not that I ever was :P). Correction! As I mentioned in the last post I HAVE BEEN writing, but very capriciously – myriad musings :)

Even now there are many things I want to write about. I have been thinking about it for quite sometime, trying to zero down a particular topic. But it has been of no help. However, I have made up my mind that I am going to post something. So I have finally decided that I will go about it randomly, with no fixed agenda, like I have been doing recently.

Interestingly, as I wrote the last line, I figured out the best topic that I could write on, right now. WRITER’S BLOCK!! Yes, this suits the mood and situation perfectly. Before going ahead let me clarify that I do not consider myself to be a writer; I am not even remotely close to being one. But there are contradictions about this whole concept and the little writing that I come up with, in spurts. Writing about it would perhaps help me resolve this issue.

Alright as most of know “writer's block is a phenomenon involving temporary loss of ability to begin or continue writing, usually due to lack of inspiration or creativity” (Quote from Wikipedia).

Before coming to my connection with this phenomenon I have this one particular memory from the eighth grade that I would like to mention. Ms Serina was our English teacher then and she was well-known for being formidable and strict. Everyone was shit scared of her. Coming from a Convent background we were supposed to have a good command over English. She would audaciously reiterate the fact that most of us did not deserve to be in the eight grade with our language skills. One day we had to write an essay in the class on some topic. After half an hour our copies were collected. She then picked out any one essay at random and read it aloud, not hesitating to point out even the smallest mistakes. After reading two or three of them, maam was very annoyed. According to her none of them was up to the mark. The girls who had to bear the brunt of her anger, quite obviously went red in the face. She tried one more but that too was a let down.

She eventually gave up the idea of reading aloud at random. Instead she called out five names, who according to her were the only ones worth reading. She said she would only be correcting those and the rest had to re-write it at home. As the last name was called out, I did feel the pinch because I knew I wasn’t so bad. The bell rang and she got up to leave. She was almost out of the class when she stopped, turned back and said that she had missed out a name. Yes, it was mine. My happiness knew no bound that day. Being appreciated by Ms Serina was an achievement. Also, she was strict no doubt and most of did not like the manner in which she insulted us. But I still admired her and coming from her it was a huge compliment.

This incident as I said is etched in my mind. Coming back to the topic, I never was in the habit of writing as such but I used to write poetry in school, occasionally. However I always had a passion for English. I have been a voracious reader since school and was good with the language too. Scored good marks in the subject always and then chose to graduate in English simply because of my love for it. I never had it in mind that I would study Literature; it just happened. Surprisingly I even pursued my Masters in Literature, but there was no learning experience as I never went to college. At that time the focus was on my career and so Masters took a backseat. I sometimes regret this decision and wish I had made the most of what could have been an enriching experience. Nevertheless to see the positive side, I am glad that I did take it up as Literature definitely has had an influence on me. It changed my mindset, point of view and attitude towards life. (This can be a separate post, right now I want to talk about something else).

It was in college that I realized there were times when I was having difficulty with the language. There was no problem with verbal communication but while writing an assignment or exam, I would just get stuck and words would not come to me. Also retention of words was a problem. However this happened only sometimes and so I did not pay much heed to it. Hell broke lose when I joined a communications consultancy firm. Coming from a Literature background the expectations from me were high. To much dismay I started getting absolutely stuck while writing. There were times when I was unable to frame a proper correct sentence in English. The same feedback was given to me by my boss Rakesh during my review. He said I was doing good in other areas but he was a little disappointed with my writing. That was the first time I discussed the idea “writer’s block” with him. I told him I did realize it too and recounted my experience. He suggested I should just write - anything but something. That was the only way to get out of it.

Well that was more than two years ago. It wasn’t so bad again but writing always remained a weak spot at work. I was good with the editing but lacked the originality in creating something new. Maybe the drive was missing because at that time I was not sure about my work in general. From what I analysed it to be, the problem lied in lack of clarity of thoughts. Someone once aptly said, “To write well, you need to think well. If you are not able to think clearly then you will never be able to express yourself in words.”

On the other hand there have been times when people have appreciated my writing. I remember I used to exchange mails with a friend frequently. He said he liked my style of writing and asked me if had ever considered writing a novel. He believed I would do well. “You should pen down a book or something...I’m serious about it.” On other occasions too, friends have complimented me for my writing. It always felt a bit weird and strange, but good nevertheless. It was a kind of a motivation to keep going.

There were times when I did feel like writing in Delhi but it was not quite possible with the hectic work schedule. So did not pursue it. Nicky did manage to convince me to start a blog. There were other reasons but she primarily wanted me give vent to all the pent-up emotions and thoughts in my head. I started on an enthusiastic note but lost the momentum soon. I have lots of time so I can’t complain on that front. I am eager to write too. But I always lose the fervor midway. This has been happening not just with writing but everything in general, but that’s no excuse. I don’t face the problem of expressing like I used to. In fact I love writing. Maybe it was just lack of dedication and my habit of procrastination.

Whatever the problem, the fact is that despite being fluent with the language, I am not at par with the written word. Technically there are no mistakes as such but I am not satisfied. This is one reason I admire people who have a flair for writing. I know I have it in me too. Perhaps it is just that I haven’t given it much of a chance.

As they say practice makes a man perfect. So I can’t be not writing and cribbing about it. Also writing in spurts won’t help. I have to be consistent. And so I have decided to write more frequently now. I look forward to it :)

I LONG...

I long…
to know who I am,

what I am,

what stuff I'm made of.

I long…

to find,
to find,

find the meaning of it all.

I long…

to travel,

to explore,

to see the unseen.

I long…

to learn,

to learn,

and learn some more.

I long…

to sing in the forests,

to dance with the waves,

to walk by the moonlight.

I long…

to try

the things untried;

to spread my wings

and FLY.

I long…

to bring about much awaited, much needed CHANGE!  

I long...

to experience life,

to LIVE life!

P.S. This would have been abandoned in its initial stages had it not been for Munish. Apart from convincing me to go on, he even contributed to this. It might be an average piece of work but that's not the point. For me it is imperative that I reach a conclusion. This has been happening with so many other pieces. I begin writing on an enthusiastic note but lose the rhythm and the momentum soon. I owe this one to him totally.

Thank you pal! And keep encouraging me in the same fashion. At least 1 out of 5 would stand a chance ;)