I won't give up!

“It's always too soon to quit!” 

― Norman Vincent Peal

How true this is. We all know it. Yet, we at some point or the other GIVE UP! Sometimes without trying, sometimes after having strived but surely not hard enough because if we give it our all, then there is no giving up!

I am someone who does not believe in quitting. Yet unhappy and dissatisfied with certain things I almost gave up something. That too something so dear to me! This feeling of discontent had crept in earlier too but only mildly. I never let it overpower me but instead worked on it instantly. And that is how it should be. For there always are going to be problems. No road is ever rosy, nothing in life is easy. Thus one should always aim to look for solutions rather than being stuck with the problems. It’s a different story that most people indulge in the latter and create more problems than there already are. However I am glad I have overcome this stage and tend to have a more realistic and mature approach towards problems, significant or inconsequential.

Not this time though. This time it was different. I had almost made up my mind and left no room for a discussion even. Not that my decision was completely arbitrary, it did have its precedents. And so I refused to listen to even myself. I did not even think much, because that would mean re-thinking what I had already decided. So I took it as a closed chapter.

However something happened today and it dawned on me that I was not doing the right thing. I asked myself – Have I given it my best? Could I have done more? I did not have to wait for even a split second. The answer was always there, I knew it. As I said one can never have done enough and I for sure had not given it my all. Actual failure is when you stop trying and I was heading there.

But I am not going to do that. I am not a quitter. I do not give up, so how can I this time? It’s my dream and there’s no way I am going to quit. The following quote pretty much sums it up then:

“When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place.”

Lootera - A Cinematic Excellence!

I had to write this review. Not because I had set expectations and some people were awaiting my review after the FB status. It is purely because I absolutely loved the movie. After having watched it, a couple of people asked me how did I like it and I just said one thing – wait for the review. It wasn’t to create an unnecessary suspense but because there is so much to say, to share. So here it goes.

Lootera is a cinematic excellence. A lot of people would complain that it is slow and thus unbearable. Yes it is – slow, pensive. It is not an entertainer meant for the masses. It is a period film, an art, poetry in motion and the story unfolds at its own pace.

The film is set in two periods in the post Independence era – Manikpur, West Bengal in 1953 and Dalhousie in 1954. The first half of the movie is fresh with some magical moments. In fact I was captivated at the very beginning itself. The instrumental of my favoutite track ‘Ankahee’ played at the outset. I first thought it would be the first song and the movie would go into a flashback, narrating the tale of two lovers. How delighted I was at the thought of hearing the song one more time, that too so early! Despite having listened to it on loop innumerable times I was yet to get tired of it. I remember waiting with bated breath. However that was not to be. And not just that, the song just does not feature in the movie but is a part of closing credit. So much for the excitement! Anyway this was the only let-down if I may say.

Coming back to the plot and the review, with the critical success of his debut film Udaan, Vikramaditya Motwane had set high expectations. And truly he does not disappoint. Of course there are some flaws with the major one being the lackluster (partial) adaptation of O Henry’s masterpiece – The Last Leaf. This short story is so powerful and Motwane sure could have done a better job than making it look like a hurried adaptation. However, the beauty and magic of this period drama completely outweigh and overshadow the flaws. The world of the protagonists – love, passion, agony, disappointment, anger –keeps you hooked.

The movie is picturesque. Manikpur and Dalhousie are totally different landscapes and both have been captured beautifully by Mahendra J Shetty. The music by Amit Trivedi and lyrics by Amitabh Bhattacharya are exceptional. All the songs are beautifully crafted. Monali Thakur does absolute justice to the beautiful number ‘Sawaar Lun’. Baramade puraane hain, nayi si dhoop hai – How poetical! Another number that I liked is ‘Monta Re’. I have always loved Shilpa Rao’s husky voice and she is good yet again in ‘Manmarziyan’. Even ‘Shikayatein’ and ‘Zinda Hoon’ are good. I love the entire album!

Sonakshi Sinha as Pakhi has delivered a stellar performance. From the privileged, pampered zamindar’s daughter to the immature lover, from the playful, vibrant, mischievous young girl in Manikpur to an ailing, lonely figure and a frustrated writer in Dalhousie – she is very convincing and has essayed the role with a right mix of innocence and sensitivity. I was among the majority of people who felt that although Sonakshi has 100 crore club to her merit, it is mere luck than talent that had got her there. My opinion has definitely changed after Lootera. The credit also goes to the writer for such a well defined role. Kudos!

Two girls sitting beside me labeled Pakhi’s attempts of getting close to Varun as desperate. They couldn’t stop laughing and mocking saying that she was throwing her charms at him in an attempt to seduce him while he wasn’t interested. Well, to some it might seem a desperate attempt of getting physical. But I think there is much more to it. Being a literature student I have learnt to analyse a work of art beyond the obvious. One needs to understand the set-up in which Pakhi has grow-up and lives. Her father is the only man in her life and she has been deprived of any other love. So when she comes across this good-looking charmer, she is bound to be swept off her feet and develop some feelings for this man.

Ranveer Singh as Varun essays his role with conviction and displays the various shades of his character effectively. He is introduced as a polite young boy who timidly seeks permission from the Zamindar for an archaeological dig. Then there is the innocent and mellowed flirting during the painting lessons and beyond. Despite a warning from his partner Devdas, he eventually falls for Pakhi and is torn between love and duty. In the second half he looks confident when he sways to Dalhousie to commit yet another heist. And then the estranged lover wanting to stay back and make amends to his lady love.

The chemistry between the leading pair is not the best that we come across but their individual performances are rocking. Also a great thumbs up for the supporting characters – Barun Chandra as the zamindar and doting father, Vikrant Massey as Devdas, Varun’s accomplice, Adil Hussain as the tough police inspector and Divya Dutta as the compassionate caretaker are all splendid in their roles and leave a mark.

To sum up, Lootera is an art, one which requires patient viewing. It will charm and sway you with its set-up, scenic locales, music, performances – only if you do not have any pre-conceived notions or expectations. Watch it and it will steal your heart!

Happy Friendship Day! :)

Today Facebook is flooded with friendship messages and pictures. I don't really believe in a particular day to express one's feelings, whether it is Friendship Day or Valentines Day. I especially detest forward messages; can't identify with the concept of sending mass messages just because the day warrants so. So I did not call my friends or text them to wish Happy Friendship Day!

However it wasn't always like this and I was poignantly reminded of this today. On my way back in the metro, I spotted a gang of college kids chit-chatting, laughing, celebrating and having fun. They had friendship band on their wrists and a couple of them were carrying lovely bouquets. The excitement and fervour transported me back to my college days.

Those days Friendship Day was an occasion for grand celebration - cards, gifts, flowers, messages, phone calls. Moreover it used to set the tone for my birthday. I remember in 1st year of college, my friends had sent cards by post first for Friendship Day and then for my birthday. So I used to receive 1-2 cards almost every day. Some of the pg girls mocked, some were envious and other just happy about the bond that I had with my friends. They said they had never received so many cards at one time J I really used to be the enthusiastic one, planning and coordinating with everyone, ensuring that I met most of my friends on that special day.

Now we do change with time and today such celebrations do seem kiddish. But does it mean that the day has lost its value just because we have grown up? During college we used to hang around with friends so often. It was then that another special day was not needed for us to express our love for friends.

In today’s busy world, we are barely in touch with our friends. All are busy in their respective lives – martial life, family and kids, career or studies. We all know that we care and love each other but the point is do we express it that often? Do we really get the time and space to do so? So it is not a good reason for us to take out some time and let friends know that they still are an important part of our lives. It might not be important to do it today, but the idea is to just express. And since I already feel it, I might as well do it today :)

Growing up, we do lose out on friends. I have lost a many and it has been tough. However that has only taught me to cherish friends and friendship all the more. To all those who have moved on, I thank them for teaching me this invaluable lesson. To the ones who have stuck and stuck in the real sense, being there always through the thick and thin, well a thank you is just not enough. You still have me, need you more ;) And to the ones who have newly come in, well you should be glad our paths crossed and you got the chance to know the amazing me ;) 

There are some names that have to come in here. Listing them in alphabetical order :)

Apurva – I have found a friend in a brother and what an incredible friend you are! Just love spending time with you, having those ‘intellectual’ conversations and sharing almost everything! Te quiero :)

Bhua – You were the friend that I always had, right from my childhood. I have grown up with you, learnt from you and imbibed so much from you. It’s been a blessing to have you in my life. Besides being an aunt, you have always been a friend. Love you :)

Joyee – It’s always been a roller-coaster ride with you. We are caught up in the web of life and our escapades are not that interesting. Time to add the ‘past’ tadka ;) Love! 

Mona – As I was growing up, I always missed having a sister; someone with whom I could share everything from crushes to heartbreaks, family troubles to personal issues. Someone who would be protective and not have any motive; and most importantly someone who would always be there coz she was family. I no longer miss having one. Love you so much sister :)

Moulshree – It’s commendable how we are yet to have our first fight. Eight years of togetherness. We were kinda lost in between but thanks to whatsapp we are in regular touch now. To more years of friendship! Also now that I am in Delhi, we should meet more often. So lets fix that long overdue trip soon. Dherai maya :)

Munish – I know a lot of people who find love on the internet. I found a true friend. The comfort and ease with which I share everything with you is commendable. You are forever so encouraging and supporting. Thanks for always being there. All our memories have been of the virtual world so far but doesn’t seem like we have not met yet. Having said that, I am really looking forward to seeing you, soon. Love you pal :)

Nicky – Frankly, I really miss ‘us’ – Nicky & Nanny, especially coz I am in Delhi now. I need to take more effort to be in touch. But we have seen worse in terms of no communication, and we will survive this as well. You continue to be my alter-ego girl. Much love :)

Nupur – Oh I am so delighted that you are a part of my life! Did not know back then that a by chance phone call would blossom into this marvellous friendship that we share. I so miss spending time with you. Hopefully we will relive those moments soon. I am truly, truly blessed to have a wonderful friend like you. Love you my honey-bunny ;)

Pranav – We have been going through a rough patch of late, and all thanks to me. Irrespective of that I want you to know that you are a good friend and I care for you. I like that you have an opinion about things and voice it too and that you feel strongly for causes that you believe in. I love having discussions and arguments about almost everything. We have shared good times and I want us to get back to it. I miss those days and now I take the onus. Love you Joshi :)

Shashank – You care for me, you make me feel special, you bring out the best in me (and sometimes the worst) – you just make me feel alive. I am just glad to have you in my life. Love you!

To all my other friends, wish you Happy Friendship day! :)

My Must Do List

All of us invariably have a list of things that we want to do. Unfortunately as we grow up, we get so entangled in the web of life that we hardly have time for anything. We start leading a mundane life and all our interests/desires take a backseat. We attribute it to lack of time and then the must-do list becomes a wish list. Something like that was happening with me. However I am glad I did not get trapped in it. I have lost out on time and some opportunities, but never mind. I will not let those desires be only desires. I will try and fulfill as many of them as possible. So here goes my list; not a WISH-LIST but a TO-DO List :)

1.  Learn a Foreign Language, preferably French – I think most of us have this desire to learn a foreign language. But how many of us do it? Several of them do enroll for a one year course, but is a year sufficient to have a command over a language? I don't think so. Anyway, I missed out a great opportunity that had come knocking my way. My college, Hans Raj, offered a foreign language course in French and German. I remember getting the form and filling it. However, since the timing for the course was in the afternoon from 3 to 5, friends suggested that it was an odd time and I would be missing out on a lot of fun. Actually we were new to Delhi and the first thing that was there on our minds was to explore the city, roam about, and have fun. So when one of them changed her mind, the other did the same and eventually following the herd mentality I too dropped the idea. Oh how I wish I had made the right decision at that time! Anyway, there is no point regretting. As they say, there is no age for learning. Perhaps I will sometime :)

2.  Play a musical instrument with panache – I have an intense passion for music and a deep fascination for musical instruments. Music, in fact, has such an overwhelming effect on me that I sometimes wonder if I were a musician in my previous birth or had some kind of connection with it. Anyway, I like many instruments but the GUITAR has always lured me the most. I wanted to learn how to play it. And I am so glad that I have finally started with the classes. I could have done this long time back had it not been for my habit of procrastination but the good thing is that I have begun. So far, so good. The teacher also seems to be nice. His fingers move so effortlessly, I just love to watch him play! Someday I too want to be play like him.

3. Travel – Travel is like an investment in oneself; it transforms and changes us. There is so much to learn from travelling. I want to travel around and be amidst the lap of Nature, exploring, indulging and discovering the self. I would love to go to Europe, but there are so many places in India itself that I long to visit – Kerela, Mumbai, Ladakh, Shimla and the entire north-eastern belt. Being in Bengal for so long, I am yet to visit Gangtok. It can’t get worse. Moreover I keep talking about it but do anything. It’s time to stop talking and act! I am seriously going to start in August. Fingers crossed for this one.

4.   Photography – Photography has captured my attention for quite some time now. And there are no barriers except that I need to get a camera. I don’t want to buy any ordinary camera and yet it would not be a very good idea to invest a lot either, because knowing me my interest might just wane once I am in possession of it. Things look attractive only till the time they elude you. At least this happens with me a lot. So I want to start with something in the mid range and I am saving for it. Once I buy one, the escapade will kick start. Only hoping it is not too late!

5.  Write – I want to write more. I want to move on from narrative accounts to some serious writing. Nicky wrote a post on The Existential Dilemma. I was writing a comment and then realized it was turning more into a post itself. Maybe I can begin with that itself. Existentialism and it’s variants of any kind have always enthralled me. So it would be a good topic I suppose :P

This is not all. This is definitely not an exhaustive list. There must be some other things that can make this list, but this is all that I am reminded of currently. I, however, do not want to wait in the hope of remembering some more and extending this list. There can always be an addition later. 

We miss you, Nicky

I really miss Nicky, my best friend, and I'm sure my blog misses her equally. She always encouraged me to write and was more enthusiastic about it than me. I remember her calling me up very excitedly and informing me that she had found a lovely template for the blog. Yes, I never had to work on its look and style. She was more concerned about it and took great care to update it from time to time. She had that enthusiasm of a small kid who looks at every new thing with great thrill, keen to discover it and know more about it. And it was she who kept me going.

But she is now busy with her marital life and I too lost whatever little interest that I had (for various reasons). The result - my blog just looks so dry! There have been no comments for the last two blog posts. Call me a kid, but yes I used to be very excited about the comments, eagerly waiting. It is quite a paradox because very few people had the link. But this never quite bothered me, because Nicky made up for it mostly. Then of course, there were select others who mattered to me. They too were supportive in their own ways. Some expressed it via comments on the posts itself or through email and chats. Then there were the silent supporters who never said anything but I knew that every post was being read by them.

Anyway I have decided to be active and write regularly. This resolution has come many a times before but this time I am really going to stick to it. So comments or no comments, I am going to write.

Nicky was forever worried that I kept too many things to myself and never spoke about them. Thus she constantly encouraged me to write. She always desired that I use this as an outlet for expressing my thoughts, desires, frustrations, grievances, and memories – basically everything. Well so far it was more of recounting past experiences, but I now want to write about my present thoughts too. It’s not that I do not write them, but they are mostly lying in the drafts. But now, enough of hiding them in the closet!

Nicky I want you to read this and I know you will. You just have to know that I am back at it, and I am sure that no matter what, you will take out time to read it and loyally comment on every single post. Well, both my blog and I am looking forward to it.

Consistently Inconsistent

My status reads – “Consistently Inconsistent”

A lot of people will identify with this feeling I am sure. I am mostly inconsistent – I'm capricious and tend to get bored awfully fast with situations, things and even people, every so often. But there are times when this feeling is very strong. It is more like a phase and these days I am going through such a period (no pun intended here :P). Nothing appeals to me or fascinates me. And even if it does, it doesn’t hold my attention for long. I start something with great passion but then lose the enthusiasm soon. This explains the numerous drafts in my folder because I just do not have the willpower to finish them. I doubt if I will post this one too. But today I am determined to do so. Let’s see what happens! It is like challenging me and I am already enjoying it :)

Getting back to the topic…I do not like the company of even my closest pals. I just do not feel like talking to anyone. But then again I get irritated with the loneliness. I seek the company of people, I long to share my thoughts, I yearn for a good conversation; it is a vicious circle.

I have currently started reading about 8-9 books and each day I feel like taking up a new one. I tell myself that let others be; I will me start afresh and ensure that I finish this one. But it’s the same story :P

In fact sometimes I even don’t like listening to music. Then it kind of worries me because I really can’t picture life without music. So getting bored with it or not being up to it is unimaginable. But thankfully this is rare and happens for a very short time.

Basically, the whole point is…

Well there I go. I have lost the link…train of thoughts broken! Talk about being inconsistent!!

Now this doesn’t really qualify as a complete post but I will still put it up. That’s about it for now. And I seriously hope to transfer stuff from my drafts to the blog :P

Yet another personal (impulsive) reflection…

May seems to be the month for engagement announcements. The one that I got to know today came as a shock. She is a close pal but marriage was not on her cards. We were more or less sailing in the same boat. But like she herself put it, everything happened suddenly. Sometimes when I think about how most of my friends are married by now or have plans to in the near future I get very intimidated. It is during such times I feel that it’s time I too settled down. But this thought only occurs whenever I get the news of a friend tying the knot. Else I would still say that there is time for me.

Anyway I would like to divert my mind as of now and the best topic that comes to my mind is my upcoming trip to Delhi next week. I am really looking forward to it. There are so many people I have to meet; I just hope there is time enough for all. I so wish this trip could be extended. I have really been missing Yashi a lot for the last few days. Since it is not possible for her to come to Delhi I could have gone to Dehradun. It would have been ideal but I don’t see that happening this time. So this plan will have to wait. Right now hope to make the best of those two weeks. And of course the most important thing, the reason why I am traveling – my lil brother’s admission. I hope he makes it to CBS. Fingers crossed!!

How comfortable are girls in buying a sanitary napkin?

I have had discussions on this topic with my girl friends many a times. And the response has more or less been the same – most of them are still very uncomfortable in buying a sanitary napkin, which I would refer to as ST henceforth [This is another thought – the abbreviation for a sanitary napkin should be SN and not ST. But that is how we have been referring to it always. I wonder why. I guess the ST comes from Sanitary, but then what about Napkin? Strange!]

You walk up to any store and ask for one; if there are men around, you will surely see them staring at you. The person at the counter takes it out in a hush hush manner and then wraps it in a newspaper or puts in a BLACK plastic bag, sometimes even both. I wonder why! Not that I don’t know the reason, but it is so baseless. Why should it draw attention if I carry it just like that? What is so disgraceful about it that it needs to be concealed?

A lot of girls I know never buy ST from the chemist next to their place or any other shop that they visit regularly as they know the person sitting in the shop and thus feel embarrassed and ill at ease. This thought really bewilders me. Not that I blame the girls for thinking in this manner. It is the mentality of the men around them that gives rise to such self-consciousness. But why, that’s my question! And are only men to be blamed for this?

I would say it is the psyche of the people in India and how they look down on this whole process. In some parts of India, menstruation is still considered to be a curse and linked with myths and taboos. Teenage girls, especially in rural parts are not comfortable in discussing it with their parents or elders in the family. As a result girls are shy and embarrassed. Many a times they go through a lot of pain or trouble but are unable to share it with anyone. There are many NGO’s and other bodies working towards this and educating the rural community. But what about the urban class who are well educated and aware of everything. Why don’t they treat it as a natural phenomenon and stop being embarrassed about it?

Some people might argue that this is not the case. Well, I was in Delhi for 7 years. Initially, in our first year of college we used to hesitate in even telling our guy friends that we are chumming [Now most of them, including some girls, will not understand this term too I guess. It is a colloquial term that we girls use for “periods”]. Things changed gradually, a lot of credit for which goes to Eng Hons. Today I have no qualms in discussing or talking about it with most of the people. But there are times, when I too am a little hesitant despite the “bold” and “liberal” girl that I am. For instance, I could never tell a male colleague in my office that I was chumming. However I am still better off than most of the people I know. Girls still are not at ease talking about this.

I remember, once I wasn’t feeling well as I was down, when a guy friend of mine called me up. When I told this to him, one of my girl friend who had come over to my place raised her eyebrow and looked up at me in a very surprised and shocked manner. She later asked me how I could tell a guy that I was down. I asked her what was wrong in telling him; we were good friends after all. She then told me that she could never talk about this with a guy, no matter how good a friend he is.

My earlier posts on PMS evoked mixed and varied reactions. Most of the girls liked it and appreciated that I have expressed the pain and feelings aptly. But some of them asked me how I could post such a thing on my blog. Till the time girls themselves have this notion in their heads, this issue will always remain as it is. They need to stop feeling shy about it in the first place. It is only when they are themselves comfortable, that they can expect people to behave normally.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

In the course of our lives we come across several people, befriend quite a many, and finally form close friendships with just a few of them. With time even these close friends depart, at times due to a reason and sometimes without any. We then make new friends, occasionally missing the old ones. And life goes on. However there are some who stick around stubbornly and go on to become a part of our lives. Also there are a number of people we might not be very close to, but they do leave a mark or influence us in some way or the other. It is people like these who make our lives beautiful.

These are those special people who are a part of my world and have left an impression some way or the other. 12 indeed seems like a huge number and mind you this is an only girls list [No specific reason for this]. Sometimes we take them for granted or hesitate to tell them what’s on our mind and how we feel for them. This is effort to let them know that they are indeed special and their presence makes a difference. I share an individual relation with each one of them and there can be no comparisons. But yes, I am fortunate to have known them. Love you all!

I was having difficulty in arranging the order and have finally decided to go chronologically. Starting with the person I met first…

Sweety: Her name says it all – she is sugary, extremely caring and is ready to walk that extra mile anytime for her friends and close ones. People who know her are indeed lucky. I am fortunate enough as we are cousins. But she has been more of a friend. I have admired, respected and loved her ever since I’ve understood the word FRIEND and known the meaning of friendship. Despite being sisters, we have exchanged lots of cards. People called it madness but I actually idealized her those days - always waiting to hear from her, looking forward to her cards and letters. However that was just one side of the picture as life is not just about roses. I am glad we experienced the rough phase as well as now I can say that it is a complete picture.

I had never anticipated having fights or arguments with her but we did and in great style. We did not fight verbally; it was worse – the cold war. The paradox of the situation – when we were far I always wanted to meet her and be with her. But when we were staying together in Delhi, there were times when we did not speak for more than a couple of days. I really do not regret any of it as it has only helped me to understand her better and made me closer to her. I love her lots and wish her the best in life.

Neha: I’ve known her for more than twelve years and I am actually surprised that we are still going strong :P We were five friends in school and our gang was called PINKSTERS. Out of the four of them, I was least close to Neha. I screamed and yelled at her most of the times. If someone told us then that we would be such close buddies ten years down the line, neither of us would have believed it. And the irony is that today I am only in touch with her. Our friendship has stood the test of time.

She has changed a lot over the years, and for the better. Today she is completely different from what she used to be then. But we have been friends during the good and the bad times. I have changed too, but whenever I am with her, I am myself. I effortlessly share my innermost feelings with her and she advises me for a change. I am proud to have a friend like her. Love you baby!

Pooja: She is an absolute sweetheart – one of my rare friends I have not had a fight or an argument with, ever. Knowing me, that’s quite an achievement! I met her in school (Class XI) and there has been no looking back since then. Moreover I am sure she is someone I will be in touch with even twenty years down the line. She is very sweet, caring, down-to-earth and dependable. It has been a smooth ride with her. We have countless memories from good old school days.

Some people say it is difficult for girls to sustain friendship after marriage. That’s absolutely incorrect. She has been married for more than two years but there has been no gap in our friendship and the credit goes to her. On the contrary I am closer to her now than ever before. The credit goes to her mostly as she knows how to maintain relations. I am extremely happy about the fact that she has found a soul mate in her life partner. They are truly a made for each other couple. Wish you all the very best in life honey!

Prachi: Intelligent, outgoing, straightforward, crazy, lazy and total fun – that’s Prachi Gupta for you. It’s a delight to have a friend like her. She has no hang-ups and is absolutely bindaas.

How come you and Prachi are such good pals? That’s the question I am confronted with these days. Our so-called friends raise an eyebrow when they hear that we are close buddies today. But who cares? And why, it is no one’s business actually. So just keep away. (Yeh prayaas tha un dikhawa karne wale doston ko sabak sikhane ka :P)

You rock girl. I am going to miss you bad and life will not be the same without you here. Anyway wish you a happy married life. Lotsa love!! Muah…

Moulshree: We do come across many people in our lives with whom we have an instant connection. We hit off right from the word go. The initial phase is incredibly good and everything seems right. However such relations are known to last for a short while. The charm soon fades. At least that’s how it has been with me.

But once in a lifetime we come across someone we click with immediately and things only get better with time. Moulshree is that person in my life. Met her in the first year of college and there has been no looking back. College was what it was because of her. She is someone I can spend an entire day with doing nothing and still not get bored. Her simplicity is her best virtue. In fact I can now go on to talk about the innumerable good qualities that she possesses and this post will run into pages. I'll write a separate entry on her but for now all I would say is that she is one of my best pals and am assured will always be.

I must have done a thousand good deeds in my past life to have her as a friend.

Nisha: “Best of friends don’t always make the best of roommates.” This is the first thing that strikes me when I think of her. We were roommates for two years in college and have seen all shades of life during that time. Misunderstandings are not uncommon, especially with people you share your room with but the manner in which we dealt with it was absolutely wrong. It was a love and hate relationship. We did have many unpleasant experiences but we also have several wonderful memories. It was just a phase and I am glad we survived. It takes true friendship to pass such tests and ours did.

Nisha is strong-minded, focused and knows what she wants from life. I respect her. Today we are not in regular touch, but that’s not important. I am glad our paths crossed and I had the pleasure of knowing her. She has taught me a lot. We have shared a lot - learning new words, discussing current news and happenings, hanging out together, watching movies, fighting and arguing about petty issues and above all being there for each other. I sure would love to interact more often and share a lot more with her. Guess I’ll take that step :)

Shilpa Sanghai: To be frank, there were 11 names on this list. I was surprised by this number as I had only expected about 8. But somehow it still did not seem complete. I knew someone was missing. I figured out after a while that it was her. And I was not astonished that her name had slipped out of my mind initially as I share an odd but wonderful relation with her. I know her since college; she was a year junior to me and we were in the same PG. I also know that she somewhat hated me in the beginning, courtesy my attitude :P Her opinion of course changed as she got to know the real me.

We have never been in regular touch, not while we were in the pg, not after college, not after that either, despite being in the same city [Strangely enough we have been talking almost daily lately, when she is in Delhi and I am back home, all thanks to Google Talk]. However there always is this comfort that she is there and I can fall back on her, anytime. We speak not more than three or four times a year (on the phone) but whenever we do, we always take off from where we had last left.

I don’t think I have ever told her how I feel about her as it has been a very casual relationship. But it’s true that her presence in my life makes a difference. I respect her for the person she is. I value her opinion and advice.

I know you will do well in life Shilps. Your willpower and perseverance is going to take you places. Lotsa love and good wishes.

Archana: Archana is someone I look up to. We are similar in temperament and perhaps that’s why she understands me so well. I value her advice and whenever there was a dilemma concerning work life, she was the first person I turned to. And she never let me down. I have great respect and faith in her.

Nicky: This is indeed difficult. There is a blog entry on her and I recently wrote a testimonial too. So this will be repeating things. But this list and the whole idea will not be complete if I don’t write about her.

I can write a lot about her, about us, and what she means to me, and yet not get anywhere close to explaining her importance in my life in words. I keep saying it time and again that she is my alter-ego. Of course we are different in many ways but the similarities overpower. She reads my mind, she understands my silence, she knows my various moods, she is aware of my faults - she just knows me inside out. She is a godsend. My life is incomplete without her and I can’t imagine not having her beside me. You know what you mean to me honey.

Amrita: Gentle – that’s how I would describe her in one word. She is soft-spoken and absolutely adorable. More than anything I am amazed at her patience. Not that she doesn’t get stressed or beleaguered, but it doesn’t show up in her demeanor. On the other hand, whenever I was upset or angry in the office, it showed on my face. Everyone could make out there was a problem and I made no efforts to hide it either, as I have always been a straightforward person. This girl sure has some resilience.

Amy was my bitching partner in office. We sat at an arms distance but conversed via chat most of the times. And what fun it was! So much so that it had become a kind of a habit. Sometimes it seemed like we were indulging in it just for the sake of it or maybe because our day would be incomplete without those sessions :P

Amy is a complete family person. Ask her to meet on a Sunday and she would instantly refuse as Sundays were meant to be at home. In fact she sometimes expressed her disapproval about me being in Delhi, away from home and family.

I admire her for all of this, basically for the person that she is.

Sanna: She is absolutely bindaas. I’ve known her for a short while but it has been a great experience. She has a charming personality and is liked by all. Hanging out with her is absolute fun. She is a no-nonsense, in your face kind of a person. Sometimes she can be very blunt but that’s better then maintaining double standards. In fact I respect her for being straightforward and clear. Then there is this other side to her too – soft, caring and thoughtful. She is very dear to me and I am glad I know her. Love you darling and miss you – Barista, coffee, Big Chill; basically your company!

Joyeeta: There already in a dedicated blog entry on her and so there is nothing much to say but yes I am happy we met. Of all the people mentioned here I came across her last but it seems like it was predestined. Even though we were together only for a short while, we have infinite memories. That’s why whenever we talk, we are always stuck up with remember this and remember that :)

What a roller coaster ride it was! Just being with her was absolutely entertaining, no matter where we were – at work, at my place, watching movies, hanging out in CCD, shopping or any other place. It was just so entertaining. Here I must mention that we make perfect partners when it comes to watching movies. Movie watching had never been so much fun before and I am sure we will never find someone better. What I liked most about her company was that I was always myself and it came very naturally. I could say anything and do as my heart pleased and she would just be a part of it. She has left an everlasting impression and I really look forward to more fun times together, especially watching movies again. God I so miss it.

P.S. Two pictures are missing here. Will add them soon.

AFTC

I was introduced to The Actor Factor Theatre Company (AFTC) by my colleague Mridul in March 2008. His brother Rahul was a part of group. AFTC plays were scheduled for June-August and since I had worked for NSD Mridul asked me to help them with some media contacts. I pitched in to help but soon found myself to be a part of AFTC. We were four of us handling their PR and communications – Mridul, his fiancée (Vrinda), Prasoon (another colleague and Mridul’s pal) and myself. Both Mridul and Vrin had a reason for the association but I was doing it by choice and had nothing in it for myself. I was really impressed with their first production ‘Aakaar’. It only gave me further impetus to put in my sincere effort and contribute in whatever little manner that I could. Our efforts helped in creating the initial buzz and spreading awareness about the group and their plays.

At that time I had a very hectic schedule – office Mon-Fri, MBA classes on weekends, the mock test on Sunday, Soka Gakkai amongst others. Plays were lined up for alternate weekends and that meant a lot of involvement. But I liked it and had no reason to complain. Plus we were doing a good job :)

There was a party to celebrate the success of ‘Aakaar’. I was a little apprehensive initially as I did not know a lot of people but Vrin assured that it would be enjoyable. And seriously what good fun it was! It was easy to gel with everyone. I personally admired Sunit Bhaiya (the President of AFTC) but before that I only knew the serious side of him who was constantly on his toes to get things going. It was good to see him in a light mood, just having fun. All the others parties that I have attended have been absolute fun.

One of my best memories was the press conference (PC) organized by all amateurs. One evening I got a call from Sunit Bhaiya asking if I could see them in Saaket in sometime. It was already past eight but he said it was kind of urgent. I agreed and met them @ Barista in Saaket. Bhaiya told me about their upcoming theatre workshop. Bhaiya had big plans for AFTC and was planning to start a theatre academy. This workshop was the first step towards it. If successful, this was to be followed by a lot of other stuff, which Bhaiya had in mind. But it solely depended on the success of this workshop.

The problem was that the workshop was to start in a week’s time but they only had three registrations so far. We desperately needed people but had no funds for advertisement. A lot had anyway been invested in the preparations and the number for break even was around 20. Plus they had faculty from NSD and other biggies from theatre. The only way out was to create a buzz through news article which could only be done through a PC. Bhaiya said he would get Manoj Bajpai to be there at the conference and talk about the workshop. But we had to ensure we could do it. Even the conference would require funds so they expected results.

Now we had been a part of PCs in office, and had some idea. But organizing a PC from the scratch required strategy and planning. Plus the biggest worry was that Manoj Bajpai’s presence would help us to get the media there but there were high chances of the focus remaining only on Mr. Bajpai and not AFTC and the workshop. This could seriously backfire. At this point we needed good articles talking about the workshop but this was a difficult task knowing the media. Bhaiya said it was our call totally. After a good discussion, we decided to go ahead with it.

We were faced with numerous problems initially. Just around that time I had two other events in office and so it was a tight schedule. Besides, my events were also art based and in some cases there was a fight for space in newspapers. Now both were equally important for me – AFTC for obvious reasons and then in office too they were my clients. So I had to be fair. Vrin and Mridul too were quite busy with stuff in the office. Mridul had no time to breathe. So it was all on me, Vrin and Prasoon.

I remember those couple of days were maddening. And things were taking place in true filmy ishtyle. We were handling it along with our office work and so there was a lot of confusion. The first invite was sent out with a wrong date. Luckily someone noticed it and it was rectified. So a second invite followed asking the media to ignore the first. This was enough to create a misunderstanding so we had to follow it with a phone call. I could not be at both the places at the same time, and skipping anyone seemed impossible. Luckily the next day the client called and asked to meet at 4:30. Since the PC was to start at 6, and my client’s office was at a stone’s throw distance, this was manageable. Phew, I was so relieved :)

However the worst was yet to come. Only on the day of the PC did we realize that there had been a miscommunication. The venue was Café Turtle, Saaket and we thought it was GK. And that’s how the invites were sent. It came as a blow. Media people anyway have their tantrums and this could be suicidal as we had already made a change earlier. Moreover, we were in the office and it was not possible to make calls. Then my colleague told me he would not be accompanying me to the meeting and I would have to go by myself. That was another blow but the only thing on my mind that time was calling the media. What a situation to be in! I called some of them and apologized for the confusion. Rest was left to Vrin & Prasoon.

The venue fiasco was finally sorted out but then for some reason the traffic was real bad that day. It took some journalists more than 2 hours to get to the venue while others had been waiting since long. We were trying to deal with the tantrums and chaos, when I got a call from the office. I had informed them that I would not come back from the meeting and they were okay with this. But my colleague said there was some urgent work and I had to get back to work. I told him it was not possible. But there was a release to be issued and there was no one working on that account. So I had no choice. I could see the PC turning into a huge disaster, but was wrong. Amrita, my colleague and a close buddy knew about the conference and so she agreed to pitch in. I did exchange a couple of heated SMS’s with my colleague but Amrita truly was an angel that day.

We had seen the drama unfold layer by layer and by that time were literally praying that it was enough for a day. Our prayers were heard J Finally everyone arrived. The turnout was great; we had all the leading publications and TV channels. We were slightly concerned about the messaging but I guess with Manoj Bajpai you can be assured. He politely refused to talk about himself and movies and requested the media to keep the discussion limited to the workshop. He told them that they could play a vital role in supporting upcoming talent in theatre and urged them to do so.

The PC was a huge success, both in terms of getting the coverage in leading papers and eventually getting people for the workshop. From what I remember we had about 33 people :)

I have been away from all the happenings for a long time now. But I really miss all of them and the good times spent together – working, partying and having fun! AFTC has its new production "Three" lined up for April 4 and so this is a perfect time  to have written this post. (http://www.actorfactor.net/three_pages/about_the_plays.html)

Wish you all the luck guys. Rock On!!