I am upset today. It was distressing to hear the news of Paul Walker’s death. Even though I have not seen many of his movies, not even all of the Fast and Furious series, I am saddened to hear of his untimely demise. Plus I also read an article where last year’s Delhi rape victim’s mother speaks her heart out. While reading, there were numerous moments when I paused because I was choked.

My mind was flooded with a series of thoughts and images. [I sometimes marvel at the rapidity of thoughts. One leads to the other and within seconds you are in a maze of thoughts. I’d love to talk more about this but I’ll save this for later.] Both these incidents make me low-spirited. But they also give me an impetus to pen down my thoughts about something I’d been thinking of lately. It is connected to my current state of mind – being sad!

Looking around I see most people sad and distressed. Once in a while it is fine and understood but it’s more of a regular feature. Everyone seems to be caught up with something or the other and dissatisfied with life. They are plagued by many problems such as work, relationships, past issues, finances, self-esteem, future etc. Each person has his/her own way of dealing with things. A few are mentally strong and face these challenges astutely. Some seek to put up a brave face and try to deal with things on their own. The tussle is, of course, visible to only close people if not all. Most others are weak and tend to crib about it.

There is nothing wrong about cribbing. All of us, at some point in life do vent out our frustration and negative thoughts. Even the strongest of people do give in, which is perfectly fine. However what is disturbing is when people tend to create problems on their own. The truth is that not a soul is free of problems, issues or difficulties. We all go through them. So nobody is different in this regard. But what sets people apart is the way they react to situations.

As mentioned above death and rape are two things which not only sadden me but also scare the hell out of me. Death is permanent and cannot be undone. Rape is worse. It leaves a scar which only and only the victim can understand. When people go through such crisis, my heart goes out to them. There are so many other things which make me feel in the same way – a child begging, people digging the garbage to scour for food, the homeless, poor or orphans, terrorism amongst others. Oh there is so much real pain and suffering in this world! However an average person never gives much thought to it. On the contrary he/she is busy complaining about an unkind boss, having to eat boring food, a misunderstanding, not having enough clothes to wear, something someone said, a low-paying job and so much more.

These aren’t real problems. If you are not happy with your work, find another job. If you are not happy working under someone, have the strength to venture into entrepreneurship. Better still follow your dreams and pursue them. Not having enough clothes or eating boring food – really! Think about millions who struggle for a morsel of food and make do with bare minimum clothes. If it is about what people say/said, well we don’t really have a control over what others say. So ignore and move on! If there is a misunderstanding, clear it. Do not sit back and assume things. It only makes things more complicated!

The world is really full of concrete problems and most of us have no inkling of them. So rather than cribbing about what is not right, try and face it. All that is required is a change of attitude. It might not help in putting an end to the problem, but at least it can provide enough strength to deal with the situation. And the next time you think you are sad, think of the more unfortunate ones and you’ll realize you are way better off.

“Life is a bowl of cherries. Some cherries are rotten while others are good; its your job to throw out the rotten ones and forget about them while you enjoy eating the ones that are good! There are two kinds of people: those who choose to throw out the good cherries and wallow in all the rotten ones, and those who choose to throw out all the rotten ones and savor all the good ones.” 

― C. JoyBell C.

Happy Friendship Day! :)

Today Facebook is flooded with friendship messages and pictures. I don't really believe in a particular day to express one's feelings, whether it is Friendship Day or Valentines Day. I especially detest forward messages; can't identify with the concept of sending mass messages just because the day warrants so. So I did not call my friends or text them to wish Happy Friendship Day!

However it wasn't always like this and I was poignantly reminded of this today. On my way back in the metro, I spotted a gang of college kids chit-chatting, laughing, celebrating and having fun. They had friendship band on their wrists and a couple of them were carrying lovely bouquets. The excitement and fervour transported me back to my college days.

Those days Friendship Day was an occasion for grand celebration - cards, gifts, flowers, messages, phone calls. Moreover it used to set the tone for my birthday. I remember in 1st year of college, my friends had sent cards by post first for Friendship Day and then for my birthday. So I used to receive 1-2 cards almost every day. Some of the pg girls mocked, some were envious and other just happy about the bond that I had with my friends. They said they had never received so many cards at one time J I really used to be the enthusiastic one, planning and coordinating with everyone, ensuring that I met most of my friends on that special day.

Now we do change with time and today such celebrations do seem kiddish. But does it mean that the day has lost its value just because we have grown up? During college we used to hang around with friends so often. It was then that another special day was not needed for us to express our love for friends.

In today’s busy world, we are barely in touch with our friends. All are busy in their respective lives – martial life, family and kids, career or studies. We all know that we care and love each other but the point is do we express it that often? Do we really get the time and space to do so? So it is not a good reason for us to take out some time and let friends know that they still are an important part of our lives. It might not be important to do it today, but the idea is to just express. And since I already feel it, I might as well do it today :)

Growing up, we do lose out on friends. I have lost a many and it has been tough. However that has only taught me to cherish friends and friendship all the more. To all those who have moved on, I thank them for teaching me this invaluable lesson. To the ones who have stuck and stuck in the real sense, being there always through the thick and thin, well a thank you is just not enough. You still have me, need you more ;) And to the ones who have newly come in, well you should be glad our paths crossed and you got the chance to know the amazing me ;) 

There are some names that have to come in here. Listing them in alphabetical order :)

Apurva – I have found a friend in a brother and what an incredible friend you are! Just love spending time with you, having those ‘intellectual’ conversations and sharing almost everything! Te quiero :)

Bhua – You were the friend that I always had, right from my childhood. I have grown up with you, learnt from you and imbibed so much from you. It’s been a blessing to have you in my life. Besides being an aunt, you have always been a friend. Love you :)

Joyee – It’s always been a roller-coaster ride with you. We are caught up in the web of life and our escapades are not that interesting. Time to add the ‘past’ tadka ;) Love! 

Mona – As I was growing up, I always missed having a sister; someone with whom I could share everything from crushes to heartbreaks, family troubles to personal issues. Someone who would be protective and not have any motive; and most importantly someone who would always be there coz she was family. I no longer miss having one. Love you so much sister :)

Moulshree – It’s commendable how we are yet to have our first fight. Eight years of togetherness. We were kinda lost in between but thanks to whatsapp we are in regular touch now. To more years of friendship! Also now that I am in Delhi, we should meet more often. So lets fix that long overdue trip soon. Dherai maya :)

Munish – I know a lot of people who find love on the internet. I found a true friend. The comfort and ease with which I share everything with you is commendable. You are forever so encouraging and supporting. Thanks for always being there. All our memories have been of the virtual world so far but doesn’t seem like we have not met yet. Having said that, I am really looking forward to seeing you, soon. Love you pal :)

Nicky – Frankly, I really miss ‘us’ – Nicky & Nanny, especially coz I am in Delhi now. I need to take more effort to be in touch. But we have seen worse in terms of no communication, and we will survive this as well. You continue to be my alter-ego girl. Much love :)

Nupur – Oh I am so delighted that you are a part of my life! Did not know back then that a by chance phone call would blossom into this marvellous friendship that we share. I so miss spending time with you. Hopefully we will relive those moments soon. I am truly, truly blessed to have a wonderful friend like you. Love you my honey-bunny ;)

Pranav – We have been going through a rough patch of late, and all thanks to me. Irrespective of that I want you to know that you are a good friend and I care for you. I like that you have an opinion about things and voice it too and that you feel strongly for causes that you believe in. I love having discussions and arguments about almost everything. We have shared good times and I want us to get back to it. I miss those days and now I take the onus. Love you Joshi :)

Shashank – You care for me, you make me feel special, you bring out the best in me (and sometimes the worst) – you just make me feel alive. I am just glad to have you in my life. Love you!

To all my other friends, wish you Happy Friendship day! :)

Yet another personal (impulsive) reflection…

May seems to be the month for engagement announcements. The one that I got to know today came as a shock. She is a close pal but marriage was not on her cards. We were more or less sailing in the same boat. But like she herself put it, everything happened suddenly. Sometimes when I think about how most of my friends are married by now or have plans to in the near future I get very intimidated. It is during such times I feel that it’s time I too settled down. But this thought only occurs whenever I get the news of a friend tying the knot. Else I would still say that there is time for me.

Anyway I would like to divert my mind as of now and the best topic that comes to my mind is my upcoming trip to Delhi next week. I am really looking forward to it. There are so many people I have to meet; I just hope there is time enough for all. I so wish this trip could be extended. I have really been missing Yashi a lot for the last few days. Since it is not possible for her to come to Delhi I could have gone to Dehradun. It would have been ideal but I don’t see that happening this time. So this plan will have to wait. Right now hope to make the best of those two weeks. And of course the most important thing, the reason why I am traveling – my lil brother’s admission. I hope he makes it to CBS. Fingers crossed!!