I have had discussions on this topic with my girl friends many a times. And the response has more or less been the same – most of them are still very uncomfortable in buying a sanitary napkin, which I would refer to as ST henceforth [This is another thought – the abbreviation for a sanitary napkin should be SN and not ST. But that is how we have been referring to it always. I wonder why. I guess the ST comes from Sanitary, but then what about Napkin? Strange!]
You walk up to any store and ask for one; if there are men around, you will surely see them staring at you. The person at the counter takes it out in a hush hush manner and then wraps it in a newspaper or puts in a BLACK plastic bag, sometimes even both. I wonder why! Not that I don’t know the reason, but it is so baseless. Why should it draw attention if I carry it just like that? What is so disgraceful about it that it needs to be concealed?
A lot of girls I know never buy ST from the chemist next to their place or any other shop that they visit regularly as they know the person sitting in the shop and thus feel embarrassed and ill at ease. This thought really bewilders me. Not that I blame the girls for thinking in this manner. It is the mentality of the men around them that gives rise to such self-consciousness. But why, that’s my question! And are only men to be blamed for this?
I would say it is the psyche of the people in India and how they look down on this whole process. In some parts of India, menstruation is still considered to be a curse and linked with myths and taboos. Teenage girls, especially in rural parts are not comfortable in discussing it with their parents or elders in the family. As a result girls are shy and embarrassed. Many a times they go through a lot of pain or trouble but are unable to share it with anyone. There are many NGO’s and other bodies working towards this and educating the rural community. But what about the urban class who are well educated and aware of everything. Why don’t they treat it as a natural phenomenon and stop being embarrassed about it?
Some people might argue that this is not the case. Well, I was in Delhi for 7 years. Initially, in our first year of college we used to hesitate in even telling our guy friends that we are chumming [Now most of them, including some girls, will not understand this term too I guess. It is a colloquial term that we girls use for “periods”]. Things changed gradually, a lot of credit for which goes to Eng Hons. Today I have no qualms in discussing or talking about it with most of the people. But there are times, when I too am a little hesitant despite the “bold” and “liberal” girl that I am. For instance, I could never tell a male colleague in my office that I was chumming. However I am still better off than most of the people I know. Girls still are not at ease talking about this.
I remember, once I wasn’t feeling well as I was down, when a guy friend of mine called me up. When I told this to him, one of my girl friend who had come over to my place raised her eyebrow and looked up at me in a very surprised and shocked manner. She later asked me how I could tell a guy that I was down. I asked her what was wrong in telling him; we were good friends after all. She then told me that she could never talk about this with a guy, no matter how good a friend he is.
My earlier posts on PMS evoked mixed and varied reactions. Most of the girls liked it and appreciated that I have expressed the pain and feelings aptly. But some of them asked me how I could post such a thing on my blog. Till the time girls themselves have this notion in their heads, this issue will always remain as it is. They need to stop feeling shy about it in the first place. It is only when they are themselves comfortable, that they can expect people to behave normally.
